harams in 21st century

bargeboo: iran predominantly remains a male dominated society. the saying: “a man’s home is his castle” often is taken to the letter. an iranian man’s inner sanctum, his private chambers that houses his wife and his children, are sacred and worthy of fierce protection. although this matter of course carries exceptions, the majority of families continue to revere the father figure as the dominant decision maker of the house, the one that the best piece of meat goes to, the ones that brings in the bread. it is the continuation of his protective shadow that everyone prays for: “may god not take his shadow away from us”.

now relationships between men and women seem to be the most dominant topic in iranian weblogs inside iran. from sexual encounters to feminism and social issues, marital matters and family dynamic, almost every weblog i come across has posts on the subject. some are completely devoted to it. in itself, this is really not all that surprising, given the fact that by nature we are a social animal, always looking for our mates, always thinking of relations with other beings. this is of course just as noticeable in weblogs from other nationalities. what makes it interesting for iranians however, is the restrictions that men and women have had to put up with in dealing with the opposite sex.  i have talked about these restrictions before, focusing on those imposed by the government. this post however, focuses on the box culture places the iranian man and woman in.  although many would point out that islam invaded iran and forced secularism on the “ritual loving and nature based” persians, it is only fair that i confess -however resentfully- that iran remains a predominantly a islamic/religious country.

the islamic republic regime of iran introduced an islam that is very different from that of say saudi arabia or dubai where not only alcohol is readily available but also pornography, prostitution and dancing are tolerated facts of life. the islam of iran takes a different take on the koranic words (the holy book of moslems), where adultery is a crime punishable with death and possessing alcohol or being drunk could result in heavy fines and lashing. although many would like to argue that these restrictions are against the true nature of the fun-loving iranians, and as much as i would like to agree, i would argue however that travelling outside the modern setting of the major cities like tehran, esfahan or shiraz, the average town and village dweller actually likes having his women virtue “protected” by “hejab”. as false as it may seem to the progressive minds, many iranains, both men and women, believe that when a woman is covered, she brings honour to her men, father, brother, husband and son. it remains the primary job of the man to protect the woman, and in the traditional households in particular this is a role women seem to embrace as well.

iran to me is always a land of extremes. traditional values battling modern or rather western ideals, the very poor versus the so very rich, feminism going head to head with a deeply patriotic culture. even the weather offers extreme differences from snow in the north and tropical weather in the south, from rain forests in the north/west to deserts and mountain ranges in mid south.

raha writes about many things. she considers herself a feminist, and writes a lot about gender issues, with a heavy hand towards women’s rights. she is also a computer science graduate and works as a private instructor/tutor in various agencies. and oh, the word raha means free in farsi.

the post bellow although brief talks volumes about iran’s society and its challenging dualities. unlike my rather lengthy intro, this post is to the point. but gender issues are quite complicated in iran so i couldn’t well leave it at just a short paragraph, now could i. enjoy. :)

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<< source: a woman’s brain is handicapped >>

<< by:  raha tabatayee (rahaye abi), december 6^th, 2003 >>

the phone rings.

- voice of a young man: hello, private computer school … looking for a private instructor teaching photoshop at home …  money is not an object, i need this for my wife …

only thing is that the teacher has to be a woman.

- yes. as you wish.

the school coordinator searches … calls the man back …

not that time … not this day … no … no …

- school coordinator: hello, yes madam, how are you? your instructor is ms. …starting tomorrow, time …

-         the man (husband) snatches the phone … your instructor is married, right?

-         pardon? she is female as you had asked …

-         no! we need an instructor who is both a woman and married!!

-         what do you mean?! this is a new one! you know what? we don’t have any instructors. (click)

school coordinator left in thought that the wife of this man, why does she even want to learn photoshop?!

this happened two days ago. i told my friend: how amusing would it be if a married female instructor goes to this jerk’s house and instead of photoshop teach her to chat in yahoo and msn and paltalk … along with outing to match making and porno websites!!