women's brains & fairy tales

i will also point out, that in iran , after divorce children go automatically to the father. often the women are pressured into staying because they fear they will lose their kids. there is also the matter of the pre-nuptial agreement. the money the man agrees to pay the woman in case of divorce (mehriyeh). i will not get into pre-wedding and wedding rituals in iran here, although i think it will make for an interesting post in the future. i have talked about mehriyeh before. it often becomes a bargaining chip in the man’s hand once the dance of divorce begins. she will either have to give up her child or give up the money. often its is the money that is chosen. if she chooses to marry again soon after divorce, again the children will stay with the father, even if he marries again, which is almost 90% of the cases he does. i call it a dance because it is really a dance, as traditional as they come. man leading the woman. it is not quite as enjoyable though …

incidentally, you might be wondering about the name of raha’s weblog: a woman’s brain is handicapped.
this is her explanation:

that guy, the phd student in architecture, whenever loses a debate says: ah, get off it. women’s brain is handicapped anyway. emam ali* says so.

* according the shiat sect of islam emam ali, prophet mohammad’s son-in-law was his predecessor. he holds a special place in iran’s religious folklore, being known as a just, kind and athletic man, who would wield his famous two headed sword by day and would secretly drop-off food and clothing on poor people’s doorstep by night. there are many stories of his fair ruling as well. his most famous book “nahj al-balagha” is widely quoted. it is a collection of sermons on leading a virtuous life. opinions are mixed on the book however, from extreme respect to complete dismissal. one of his more controversial sermon is titled “concerning women and their short comings”.

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<< source: a woman’s brain is handicapped >>

<< by: raha tabatayee (rahaye abi), january 28^th, 2003

now i know

the evil stepmother of hansell and grethel

must have been battered

by her first husband.

on her back one can still see the badly healed scars

and the deep wounds.

the court in justice

took her kids from her

father

didn’t want extra mouths to feed

and she in desperation for bread

accepted the second marriage.

no one can be

evil by nature.

the evil step mothers and witches of the stories

are born from the evilness of ruling men.

i know

hansel and grethel’s step mother

when she left them in the forest

she was crying.

the writer, in the darkness of the forest

didn’t see it.